Prowess

It's all in the wrist.

77 thoughts on “Prowess

  1. Holy crap thats priceless! XD

    1. In Australia, we do it at crotch level to illustrate our point.

      1. So do we in the United States. just never do it slow. XD

        1. Or slowly on another man. That’s just wrong.

        2. Omg! That is funny. haha

        3. You do it quick, and then you stop.

          Reminded me (may have been intentionally) of this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0UJ9Ggs3Dkk

        4. Ugh and you never make them touch! WKUK FTW.

      2. Because you’re otherwise unable to locate your penis?

  2. I’m not surprised it’s dull. A serrated knife would be much more useful.

    1. I thought so too originally, but it turns out most carving knives are not serrated.

      1. Really? Damn you Cutco! Deceived again!

        1. Haha, its funny, one of their representatives came by my house to try to sell me their “fine cutlery” about a month ago. Glad I kept the money for other things XD

        2. Yea, serrated knives tare up the meat. This comic is actually pretty accurate lol. Although if somebody else tried that they could just squish the meat.

        3. Actually Cutco knives aren’t truly serrated, so they don’t tear things up like you’d expect. I used to work for them, and while I’ll never go back to doing that they *do* sell good knives, if expensive ones.

          And seconded! I work with knives and cutting various things up pretty extensively so this comic is indeed quite accurate.

        4. Do they have a scalloped edge, i.e. rippled like the edge of a scallop shell? Apparently, these do give the best of both worlds, though they can be harder to sharpen. Not that everyone does sharpen their knives.

        5. Ah, but “Cutco knives are made of surgical steel, that neither tarnish, nor need sharpening….”

          I did a stint with them as well….

        6. Quit acting like a Cutco salesman. Their knives are actually crap and their company is a scam that steals from its “employees.” I knew a poor girl who lost $300 paying for their training, and sold her family over $1000 of shit knives for which she never even got paid commission.

        7. They don’t make you buy the knives anymore, I was just working with them a few months ago. And I bought some of my own and I love them. So shush.

        8. Yeah, they tried to do the same for me, which is why I bailed after the first day of ‘training’

        9. I’m surprised at how many of you folks are former employees. I only went to the training, but to answer your question, Goat: Cutco knives, when not simply straight aren’t truly serrated. What they utilize is their patented Double-D Edge. Think a bunch of really tiny hooks at the edge of the blade. Although these hooks are not curved as one would imagine, they’re more boxy. In between those hooks is a straight edge. It actually does most of the cutting.

        10. First comment, and likely to never be read, but I’m getting it off my chest.

          I’m not a Butcher, Chef, Knife Salesperson, or Meat Preparer.

          I’ve done training for all 4. I apprenticed Butchery and as a Red seal Chef, at NAIT, Attended the CUTCO orientation, and worked in meat at Safeway. I hunt, and cut up my own Deer into steaks, and make my own pepperoni, and burger.

          Cut-Co is a shitty company. But the knives they make are not terrible. They are OK knives. I like Ceramic’s Boker (with the umlaut over the O) Makes some very nice sets for Hunting. But those are not for everyone. Best Knives I’ve used, are from J.A. Henckel. Best knife I own is a Ceramic Ulu.

          Wusthof, is the brand that most BIG chef’s use. They cost out the ass.

          But while Cut-Co is a terrible company. They make an Ok knife. I still won’t buy one though.

          All knives must be sharpened EVENTUALLY. A good one can just go longer without. Sharpening can be done a number of ways, But the ‘Ice Pick’ looking thing is a honing knife. It does no sharpening and will not help any dull blade. It straightens the edge, so you have a cleaner slice, in case the steel bends on a bone or part of the block. Ceramics don’t have that issue, however they are prone to simply shattering, or cracking or chipping. Sharpening is done with a grindstone, or a whestone, or wheel. Then the honing blade, and finally buffing or stropping.

          And no matter what any knife salesperson tells you. If you have a really good knife. IT IS NOT DISHWASHER SAFE.

          http://www.boker.de/us/
          http://www.j-a-henckels.com/en-US
          http://www.wuesthof.de/desktopdefault.aspx

        11. read it – good info – thanks

    2. I worked as a butcher in my grocery store. Every knife in the department was smooth. A serrated knife tears apart the meat and makes it look terrible. It also doesn’t provide the even force along the blade that lets you slice through through the meat like a hot knife through butter. (Or your hand. You had to wear chainmail gloves/aprons when working with a knife there. You wouldn’t notice the knife had sliced off a finger if it had. They’re that sharp)

      Finally, have you ever tried to sharpen a serrated edge? Good luck with that one 😛

      1. They have certain honing steels for that, looks almost like an ice pick.

        1. Basically use the same thing for a chainsaw.

      2. Did you kill the animals? If not, then you were just a meat cutter. As a meat cutter that’s my biggest pet peeve when someone calls us butchers.

        1. That’s… the actually name. The fuck, man?

        2. You are a butcher technically. Butcher can be used for either someone who kills and carves as well as someone who just does the carving.

        3. In professional circles, there’s a significant difference between a meat cutter and a butcher. Its the level of training, certification and well, pay scale.

        4. I worked in the local grocery store’s meat department for three years. I was told I’d be trained as a Meat Cutter but wound up as just a Packer that knew how to work most of the boneless cuts.

          On the upside, I can de-bone a turkey twice as fast as my mother, who has been cooking twice as long as I’ve been alive.

          Regardless, I can vouch for what Lokitsu says. Pay scale, training and certification determines the difference between ‘Butcher’ and ‘Meat Cutter’.

          It’s about the same as the difference between ‘Assistant Manager’ and ‘Front-End Manager’ in many stores. They do much of the same work, but one gets paid more for brown-nosing than the other.

        5. OMG I thought you ment you de-boned your mother the first time I read that line :S

  3. What? Isn’t that how anyone get’s so good at “choppin dat meat?”

    1. by beatin dat meat

  4. I’ve been reading this comic on and off but somehow you always keep me coming back for more.

    But this is an awesome comic.

  5. Damn, you guys work fast. I thought I had a shot at first, but no luck. Hats off to Sandvich! 😉

    1. Sandvich beat the tweet!

      1. yeah, was just surfing the web due to boredom and checked my bookmarked comics and the opportunity was there.
        Btw, Keep up the good work man, the comic is really funny and its so addicting ;D

        1. Vhat vas zat, Sandvich? “Kill zem all”? Good idea! AHAHAHAHA!

  6. I second that description.

  7. Arne decides to show rather than tell I see

  8. Hmm, he is slow compared to me.

    That right I said it! He have no love with it! He has to be slow with each stroke and build it up not just rush into it. The meat needs time!

  9. The poker face that Arne has while doing his “explanation” is priceless.

  10. Simple answers to complex questions, that’s how we do things at the Food Baron.

  11. I take it the ice Arne is holding is to help set the jello pool?

    1. or finally break out the booze….
      either way, should be fun.

      1. Maybe some of the booze (the good stuff) is going into the pool. Right in the middle, to provide opportunities and incentive.

        Beth: Goldschläger? Bud? Gimme!

        Nina: Uh, it’s no street clothes in here, mom. Hygiene regs or something.

        Beth: ‘Kay. (disrobes, dives) Come to mommy! (shoves Nina aside)

        Nina: Hey, watch it! (shoves back)

        Arne: Aaaand, it begins! I am pure class! (rubs hands)

        1. You seem to be forgetting one simple thing: Arne said the stripper pole principle involves placing a pole near a group of “average” women, t.e. “normal”. Beth and Nina hardly count as normal.

        2. Slutty-ness only stands to increase the rate of reaction, because then you don’t have to break the awkward phase.

        3. Very true, but I’m still not sure they count into the stripper pole principle. They seem more along the lines of women who go looking for a stripper pole whether there is one near them or not.

          Whatever the case, I am sure it could get very interesting…

        4. That level of sluttiness can cause the reaction to become compartmentalised, i.e:

          – Yeesh, what a pair of skanks!

          – You said it! (edges away)

          Rose: Hey, that’s my mom and my sis you’re talking about! And mom’s more of a lush!

  12. I was going to make a witty remark, but two others already beat me to the punch. [Bastards emptied the punchbowl too.]

  13. Arne may just be right about that.

  14. His virginity gives him strength

    1. In one arm.

      Ugh, that just gave me a whole new impression of the Chargers in Left 4 Dead 2.

      1. There is a reason their right arms are so big…

        1. There is a flash for that: http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/521708
          it’s a run on joke in this one, among other things… hilarious!
          XD

  15. Nick, you are seriously awesome. Totally did not see that coming at all. Arne’s face was just pure awesome.

    There is a reason why Friday is fun. Trending Grounds is one of the reasons.

    1. Seconded!

    2. Is the fact that people are less likely to notice your malapropisms at the weekend another of the reasons? 😉

      1. Trending Grounds is a new one on me. Is that a guy who reviews gourmet coffees on Twitter?

  16. Totaly agree about Arne`s face angd comment. and on a side the best knive in the world are made by people who have been trained by a sword smith.

  17. Ha – know we know the secret to all samurai’s prowess! Gold!

  18. Won’t lie… that last pannel is going to get me to laugh every time…

    “Actions speak louder than words” is quite true, is it not? 😛

  19. The faster he slices the meat, the more time he gets to spend enjoying the blood. He would have had less opportunity and would probably have been caught far sooner if he had been slow on the job. And if he ever graduates to human victims/donors, he”ll need the skills to get their blood out. Plastic fangs don’t make good lancets (they’re often not strong enough, for one thing), and have a chance of putting some random infection into the wound.

  20. This is exactly why Arne is my favorite character.

  21. I can’t believe nobody else has said this yet: “So, he’s suggesting that his PERSONAL tool is dull, well-sullied, or both?”

    As for the Cutco stories, they did a show at our local Costco last year while I was walking through with my kids, and he was doing the saw-on-a-hammer-head demo and cutting a tomato immediately afterwards. When I saw him prepping for it, I told my 10-year-old daughter to watch how he saws the metal with one part of the blade, but cuts the tomato with another un-dulled part. As her eyes widened in understanding, so did several other adults within earshot. I don’t think I was the rep’s favorite person after that.

    1. HA! I noticed that too! totally ruined that guy’s mojo….

  22. Arne would know.

  23. This is the funniest joke this comic has ever had. Accolades to you, sir.

  24. He really is good with fleshy-things.

  25. Awesome! Love Arne’s response. Arne and I share similar humor. (be afraid!)

  26. What, no Peyton guest shot chanting, “Cut that meat!”?

  27. Hey, not sure if I’m stepping out of my place, but I wrote a mock up of a serial idea I came up with. Could I email it as a suggestion? It involves Rose getting stuck in a vent, has humor and nsfw stuff in it

    1. I don’t take suggestions on storylines, but I appreciate the interest! Have you considered enlisting an artist and doing it up as guest strips?

      1. I thought about it, but I only joined Deviantart this week, and I don’t know anyone well enough to ask them. I also don’t know of anyone else. I’ll try though.

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