Eh, I'm sure it'll be fine.

160 thoughts on “Knell

  1. Everybody get an umbrella, ’cause the shit is about to hit the fan.

    1. Warning: people in the front three rows may end up shitfaced

      1. I’m in! oh, you meant literally….

        1. Aww…where is The Negro Guy? I look forward to his commentary almost more than the comic.

        2. The Negro Guyis here, and he’s got his industrial-sized umbrella just incase.

        3. I’m stepping behind the fan now – I wanna avoid this mess!

      2. When old ‘Pinky talks about a splash zone, he *KNOWS* what he’s talking about

        1. The Negro Guy always thought pinky went in the stink.

        2. Huh…i’ve been doing it wrong the whole time.

    2. Ok.

      *runs for an umbrella and opens it*


      in all seriousness, shit is going to go down. and like one of my favorite comedian once said

      “crazy people know when the shit is about to hit the fan, you step to the side of the fan! All you normal people get hit with it”

      We the readers are the crazy people, and Nate is the normal person.

      1. Christopher Titus Awesome comedian and man this is about to fucking suck so much ass.

        1. THANK YOU!!!! i wondered if someone would recognize the quote.

      2. and, whats WORSE — he’s gonna WAIT for it!

    3. So very, very, very, very true. And will it be a misunderstanding, or will he give in…JUST-ONE-MORE-TIME? 😮

    4. -turns off the fan and moves away from it-

  2. This won’t end well, will it?

    1. The only way it could end well is if they ended up in a threesome

      1. The Negro Guy says or a drive-by. Just saying.

        1. Sitcom Voiceover Guy


          Oh that Negro guy! What will he say next?

          Stay tuned to Treading Ground Comments!

  3. and the plot thickens

    1. That’s not all that’s thickening. HEY-O!

      1. *ba-dum-chhh*

  4. Dude, if Miranda goes in there and sees those two just talking, he’ll have redeemed himself. Otherwise, have Tracy start quoting Palpatine, because Nate is officially lost.

    That said, I might myself make the turn if I were getting my shelves restocked by Tracy, so who am I to judge?

    1. The Negro Guy says Nates about to pull the black card. Prepare the Malt Liquor!!!!

  5. Oh boy, it’s the old “I think we should see other people” speech. But then Miranda steps in and ohhhh, crap; Nate is a dead man. Also, first!!!! Yay, me! 🙂

  6. Jerry! Jerry! *applauds wildly

  7. Well fuck…

    1. The Negro Guy says my sentiments exactly.

    2. Tracy would spell this like “we’ll fuck”

      1. I see what you did there.

  8. No Nathan! Don’t take your stupid pills now, you were on a roll!!! Well anyway, nice stuff on the comic.

  9. why does this have to be a bad thing? maybe she will see them going at it and ask to join. that way Nate can cross off two, no make that three things in the man book at once: threesome, interracial, and interracial threesome. epic win is epic.

    1. You has the point there

    2. If Miranda’s personality is anywhere near well-rounded, that is not what will happen. Then again, if Nate can keep his balls at bay, then it will not happen either, and I’m hoping for the latter.

      1. The Negro Guy hopes for the same thing.

    3. The Negro Guy says you know that this is impossible, so why the hell would you even hope? That’s like hoping Brittany Spears goes to law school. Not gonna happen.

      1. Why would you even WANT that? Unlike the Miranda-Nate-Tracy threesome, unlikely as it will be…

        1. The Negro Guy says because The Negro Guy would.

    4. I never knew those were in the man book. I must have an outdated copy.

  10. Two words come to mind: “Oooooooh SNAP!”

    1. Fergie… Get…. the…. frack…. out of my bounty hunters meeting! lol jk

  11. You know those movies where you’re telling the protagonist to “not go into the room” or to “Look behind him, the killer is there?”

    Yeah, same thing here, methinks.


    1. Methinks this be more like an old western…. and I’m the drunk at the bar saying”Someone call the sheriff, this is gonna get ugly…hey bartender, another round”

      1. The Negro Guy thinks this is mostly gonna be like some hood confrontation. The Negro Guy is gonna be the black guy trying to instigate the fight.

  12. Hmm, maybe they won’t fuck, they’ll just talk… with their pants off… and his dick inside her.

    1. oh yeah, people have sex while they talk all the time. Conversation can be lacking but thats okay.

      1. The Negro Guy says don’t forget pillow talk!!!

    2. The best break ups happen during sex. That way you leave on a good note.

      1. The Negro Guy says you know she can chop off your dick right at that moment, right?

        1. Holy Lorena Bobbit Batman!!!


        3. The Negro Guy says that’s basic Fight Club.

      2. I’m not sure busting in her and then breaking up is what one would call “a good note”

    3. You’re volunteering for the “Nixon in ’12 – now more than ever” campaign, aren’t you?

  13. Aw….Shit.

  14. We’re currently tracking a category 2 shitstorm on approach. There is some possibility of it developing into a category 3. The storm is currently looking to hit on Friday, but circumstances may change. Please stay away from windows and doors until we have determined that the storm has passed.

    1. The Negro Guy asks is that a flying taco?

  15. NOOOOOO!!!!!!



    I sense a great disturbance in the HBA Closet

  16. This will not end well. 🙁

    1. The Negro Guy says does life ever end well?

      1. Sometimes, but it’s usually not very entertaining to watch, so it doesn’t make for a good comic storyline.

        1. The Negro Guy says exactly.

  17. I suddenly feel like I’m in the front row at a Gallagher show, only what’s going to be coming at me won’t be watermelon…

    I am very correct to have my plastic up at this point. I shall score myself five bonus points….

    1. Just get a cup, I hear Scandinavian chicks are into that

      1. The Negro Guy says haha!!!

  18. NO! NO! STOP THIS! NO!

  19. Y’all got it wrong. Waiting in the HBA room is… Purvous! With Nina!

    1. This.

      1. The Negro Guy says that would be funny. Also be funny if Purvous was actually good in the sack.

        1. Maybe that’s his savant superpower? Talk about God’s gift to women. 😛

  20. I’m just excited we are going to get to see more Naked Nate!

    1. The Negro Guy says the only one.

  21. It was bound to happen, wasn’t it?

    Let’s see how far we go on the cliche meter.

  22. This comment thread is sorely lacking in Negro Guy comments.

    1. This One agrees with you. we all could benefit from the wisdom of the TNG right now

      1. Black Mandango:Yo, Negro Guy! You’s needed!

        The Negro Guy: Alright! Hold on.

        Black Mandango: Move yo ass!!

        The Negro Guy: Alright! Hold on.

        Black Mandango: I’ma beat yo Niggalit ass if you ain’t here this motha-fuckin’ instant!
        The Negro Guy: Alright!!! I’m here! What’s up?

        Black Mandango: You’re needed. (points to computer screen)

        The Negro Guy: On it! (hops on computer and begins typing)

        Black Mandango: And change my screen name! I’ma girl!

        The Negro Guy: (looks at Black Mandango and whispers) Whatever, you crossdressing piece of-
        Black Mandango: I heard that!

        The Negro Guy:…anyway…did I just right all that?

        The Negro Guy says Nate should wear that magic belt from poon-tang. Repels women nice and clean.

        1. A’right – THAT’S IT!!!

          Are you on Facebook? ’cause I totally gotta friend your ass. The whole damned world needs more TNG.

        2. The Negro Guy might friend you. Might!!!

        3. The Negro Guy updated to TheNegroGuy on Facebook. Search for that.

        4. I tried searching… I could not find ye. At least your name isnt something awkward like ‘CoonDog’ or ‘MalevolentColoredMale’ and you use propper grammar

        5. Same here. mayhaps you were deemed offensive and removed? You know how people love to protect us from ourselves….

        6. Just search up TheNegroGuy.

        7. The Negro Guy says the Name Winfred Sledge, Jr should pop up.

        8. The Negro Guy says listen to Nick Wright.

        9. Hail to the King

          it’s official, you sir are the true king and this one would gladly bow to you. ALL HAIL THE NEGRO GUY

  23. This One can’t wait to see the fallout of this situation. there’s only 6 maybe 7 ways this can end and one them is a cat fight that leads to other things

    1. TOM votes for that ending

      1. The Negro Guy says hi TOM!!!!!

        1. That One Mexican

          TOM says hi Negro Guy, we still on for jumping some crackers later?

        2. The Negro Guy says sure!

        3. Tall Random Asian Guy

          Any chances of joining?

        4. I would offer to tag along, but a token white dude pretending to be one of the gang is just a shade too cliche for me. So you guys have fun without me.

        5. The Negro Guy says awww.

  24. Oh damn shit’s about to go down! Can’t wait for the next comic.


    1. The part of my database that contains any references to Leonidas having any knowledge of the Norse pantheon must be corrupt.

  26. Empty box and HBA closet…… why do I smell setup from Tracey??

    1. i likes the way you think sir…… i like it indeed…… but …….or it could just be a sad and twisted unfortunate coincidence that both of these 2 events are intertwined with one another…… id just hope Nate with all his sense and wisdom….. if any atm…. will not take the goading from Tracey and talk there and then.

      1. Empty boxes are a way of life in grocery stores. assholes hide them *EVERYWHERE*… However, from a loss-prevention standpoint, Miranda’s long-awaited entrance to the HBA room will give a whole new meaning to the concept of “Shrinkage”

      2. The Negro Guy says thank you for thinking.

  27. TOM’s thoughts after finishing reading Part 1 of storyline “oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit………” TOM will see about Part 2

  28. Where *is* The Negro Guy anyway? I’m missing his commenting…

    1. The Negro Guy is here!!! Let the mind-fucking begin!!!!!!!!

      1. Yayness! 😀

  29. Enter Miranda.

    Miranda: What the…?

    Tracy: Mmmm. Speak of the Devil: a flat-chested cashier.

    Miranda: I… what do you call these, then? (sheds top)

    Tracy: (chuckles) So you’ve got a rack – I’m still the real woman here.

    Miranda: (snarling) There’s only one way to settle this, bitch!

    Tracy: Yeah?

    Miranda: Competitive titty-fuck!

    Tracy: Bring it on! I mean, bring them on!

    (cue porno music)

    We can but hope.

    1. Forget porno music, that situation calls for something a little more… epic. Bring on Carmina Burana (O Fortuna)!

      1. Well, if we’re going to get arty, how about something from Wagner’s Ring Cycle: Heda! Heda! Hedo! No, the title isn’t supposed to be suggestive, or wasn’t when Wagner wrote it – in that part of the opera, Donner/Thor just stands erect, brandishes his big hammer, and then summons a burning white bolt to clear the way to Valhalla… er…

        Anyway, pick a symphonic version of this (no vocals), slow the action down so that every jiggle is visible, brighten up the scene and have bloom highlights and possibly a star filter, and film most of it from a worm’s eye view. And obviously, synchronize Thor’s hammer strike to the money shot. Instant art porn (Rhein)gold!

        Oh, and have a listen to the next section of the opera: The Entry of the Nate Gods into Miranda Valhalla. >:=)> How does the first line go, again? Ah, yes: “The bridge leads to the fortress, light but firm beneath your feet, boldly tread its terrorless path!” >:=P> Fortresses fall, baby!

        1. Ah, the sweet savory sounds of epic…

  30. Duh Duh Duh …… I say ……

  31. Nate is just – TOAST!

    He is gonna be SO screwed, sex with the “Tennie-boffer” Rose will be a BLESSING !!

  32. I love the warm look Tracy’s casting Nate’s way in panel two. She really does seem to care about him deep down. Call me an optimist, but I’m really hoping that this ends well. But the laws of comedy and drama seem to indicate a meltdown coming.

  33. As EVERY single good guy in Star Wars says, “I’ve got a bad feeling about this”

    1. The Negro Guy says as every single red uniformed personel thinks in Star Trek when a mission is announced and they are picked, “I’m gonna die aren’t I?”

  34. The Negro Guy says come on Nate, you’re on a roll. Don’t get seduced now. Prove that you don’t need her in your life (or on your dick, which ever works for you) for it to feel like it matters. Be the better man, Nate. BE THE BETTER MAN!!!!!!

  35. *raises hand* Does the TG shop sell ponchos? I feel like we’re about to get something on us.

    1. The Negro Guy says if they had, we wouldn’t always feel so dirty.

  36. I’d hope for Nate to make it through this like a good man. . . But you need to have a larger brain than Penis and I just thiink two brain cells isn’t enough.

    1. The Negro Guy says you’d be surprised what you can accomplish with two brain-cells. Look at football…

      1. Negro Guy, I doubt even two cells are needed for football.

        1. The Negro Guy says exactly!

    2. What sort of monstrous person has a penis that’s larger than his brain? I’m going to need some brain bleach here…

      1. Alchemist's Apprentice

        It’s not the size that matters, it’s the amount of blood flow that gets diverted from the higher brain.

        1. The Negro Guy says ain’t that the truth.

  37. I just thought of something – Tracy seems to prefer the cold storage rooms for their ‘liaisons’, so just because she and Nate were *standing*in*front*of*the*HBA*room* doesn’t mean they will be using _IT_ to ‘talk things over’.

    Narrative causality may have other ideas, though – excuse me while I cover my desk with Visqueen and grab some foul-weather gear for Friday…

    1. first “re-encounter” was in HBA so he could five-finger so condoms

  38. I think Nate’s pregnant, and it’s Tracy’s.

    1. Thank you! that is going to stay with me for a while. XD

    2. wow … just wow

    3. They should never have put their hands in the glowing Jello cubes.

    4. The Negro Guy can’t imagine Nate trying to squeeze one of those out of his ass, but it would probably be a really large rose bud.

  39. Well this is what I think.

    “It Wasn’t Me”

    “Honey came in and she caught me red-handed
    Creeping with the girl next door
    Picture this, we were both butt naked, banging on the bathroom floor”

    1. Alchemist's Apprentice

      You know, to this day, I have no idea what the lyrics were to that song (besides the refrain). But it should could be applicable to Friday’s comic!

  40. Two words:”Oh shit.”

  41. hmmm i actualy think in the hba closet will be les in there with his blood!

  42. Oh dear. This can’t be good.

  43. All I know is I have the feeling that Tracy at least will be in a state of semi-dress, amd Mirranda will walk in on her planting a lip lock on Nate.

    1. Where those lips will be is anyone’s guess.

  44. Pardon me for a brief off topic reality check, but I don’t know where everyone lives, but in quite a few places, you couldn’t put your hands on a un-paid for box of Sudafed because some people use it to make Meth.

    I now return you back to your previous reality, thank you.

    1. We can get it where I live without paying for it. Actually Costco(my wotk) has a lot of stuff on the shelves that can be used for making meth and speed… they even told us cashiers what ones were used for which…

    2. Alchemist's Apprentice

      After the “oh crap” moment, that was my second thought. You have to get Sudafed from the pharmacy and pay for it right there. Man that’s annoying because you’re typically, you know, sick when you’re buying it and the added hassle is a pain in the ass. [/rant]

      1. It varies by locale (and store, I’d suspect.) You don’t have to do that where I live, for example. Only in larger quantities.

  45. Okay, lets say that Miranda walks in there and they’re going at it. What are Nate’s options?

    1. Zip up, futilely try and explain to Miranda.
    2. Zip up, walk away.
    3. Continue going at it, possibly throwing a “Do you mind?” Miranda’s way.

    Now, Nate’s a nice guy, but I don’t see him as being nice enough to not consider option 3.

    1. you know there’s a trope for number 3

      1. Damn you, trope-linker. I had shit to do today. You are no longer my king. >:(

  46. Am I the only one who hopes this ends well? I love the comic, but the endless Charlie Brown syndrome of constantly being the loser in every situation is starting to sound too much like my own life…, I mean is starting to get old!

    1. i hopes it well too… just not before the mandatory cat fight and/or make out session(whose says Nate has to come out on top after that, think about it)

      1. well either he will be ontop or tracy will cause she does seem to like being top dog 😛 (yes i know bad pun)

  47. Please let him have the testicular fortitude to JUST be talking to that heinous bitch!

    1. where the fun in that?

  48. That Jewish Dude’s Shitstorm Senses are tingling! Also, who steals sudafed?


    1. people who use it to make meth. (My Sister-in-law is a pharmacist)

  49. You’ve gone and ruined Tracy for me. First she was the bitch. Then the supposed slut. Then you proved she had more miles on her than Rose. Now I cant even look at her without thinking of her riding Nate.

    Not always a bad thing, but does she really have to look like she is only 3 seconds from stripping at any giving moment?

    1. Why you think the ‘Net was born? Porn, porn, porn!

  50. BriGuy, I think Option #3 is perfectly viable, and it doesn’t make Nate a bad guy, just a hopelessly screwed guy where Miranda is concerned. If he is buried to the taproot in Tracy when Miranda walks in, he may as well finish the one good thing he has left.

    1. The Negro Guy says define good.

      1. “Good”: Noun, descriptive. Being buried to the taproot in a hot female, regardless of disposition or character.

  51. Or, the powers that be could go for the totally unexpected and not a tired cliche’. She walks into an empty with nothing going on.

    one pane later, you hear a voice from a cabinet say, “is it safe to come out now?”

    1. its been done before and i dont see tracy and nate doing that i think tracy would be more likely to be realy loud if someone walks in orrrrrr miranda hears them drops the box and walks away horrifyed

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